Truth and Proof

In the coming days and weeks, I intend to share some more of my experiences and 'chats' with the other side. As I go through my notes and jottings from the past decade, at times the detail still strikes me as a little unbelievable (and I'm the one experiencing them!). So before I share these with you, I’d like to tell you about my inner battles in coming to terms with what I’ve experienced in the past decade or so.

Unlike a lot of other mediums or psychics who often write or talk about understanding and accepting their special abilities from a young age, for a long time I was entirely the opposite. And while I’ve come to accept, I still fail to understand.

As you know, I was trained as a journalist, then added an Arts Degree from university and have been working in the corporate world for nearly 25 year. Asking questions, challenging and testing a premise and implementing rational decision making processes are part of what I do and what I am.

So confronted with my visions and ‘conversations’ with the other side, and needing to know why or at least find a rational reason for why I experience what I do (at one stage, I even hoped that I would be diagnosed as having a mental illness), I visited doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors in the hope that I would be diagnosed with some sort of disease that would at least be able to answer the question of what and why this was happening to me. This would have been a relief to me.

I’ve undergone MRI brain scans, attended countless workshops, academic and medical seminars and read an enormous amount of literature to try and get to the bottom of it all and find that ‘ah ha’ moment when it all made sense according to science. I’m still searching and still trying to understand and it will take some time yet (for me and others to understand (one of the ‘visitors’ from the other side did explain to me why it will take some time yet but I’ll get to that in a later blog).

So when confronted with not being able to understand how or why, I guess you either accept or choose not to accept. For me, it was and still is a question of (a) do I forget about all this and go back to my ‘normal’ life and risk the headaches? (b) accept what I experience when I meditate and be happy that I don’t get headaches accepting that the down side is I have paranormal experiences?

Ten years ago I chose (b) and accepted the premise that just because I can’t understand doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It wasn’t an easy decision at all and I still doubt myself often. And the sceptics make some good points that resonate with me and the way I think in my day to day life.

In the end, what helped convince me to just go with it and accept it was the concept of faith. I think I’m the least religious person on earth but what I admire in people who support a religion is their faith in the face of the unknown. I’m not saying they are right because I’ve been ‘told’ by my ‘visitors’ that while there is a superior power or source, our minds aren’t able to comprehend (yet!) what that entails so we individually or collectively choose a name, religion or way of life to make meaning of what we can or want to understand. This is faith.

As we all know, humans seem to fall into one of three categories in regards to faith. You either have it or you don’t or you have an each way bet.

After years of counsel from medical experts and mulling it over myself without finding the answers I sort, it was a leap of faith that eventually made me accept what I experience when I meditate.

I came to the conclusion that many people don’t see God or whomever else they believe in but accept him/her/it/their religion anyway as a leap of faith. Was I any different? Just because I couldn’t see it, did it mean it wasn’t there?  

So having been unsuccessful in seeking answers about my ‘condition’ from scientific experts and their trusted tools of medicine, I decided to make a choice and I took a leap of faith. If nothing else, the headaches stopped immediately and haven’t returned. Go figure. I wish science could.